Hiya, welcome to Sailor Coruscant's Archive. I'm your host, Sailor Coruscant, though in real life I go by the (somewhat more prosaic) name 'Catherine'. I'm a PhD student who occasionally dabbles in fandom. That means that as you wander around my site, you'll no doubt find fanfiction and fanart for my various projects, but there are also a few original stories (one of which was even published for money - well, gift vouchers), my photo albums (currently under construction) and of course my online diary (which I am going to update any day now)! So please look around, have fun, let me know your thoughts on yaoi and hopefully we'll become friends someday.

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My day to day life is sometimes interesting, sometimes full of insight, and sometimes just plain weird. So, here for the very first time is the totally insane rantings and ravings of Catherine. I don't normally approve of sharing my thoughts with the internet at large, but what the heck. Let's give it a try, shall we?

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Why do they leave me alone on the weekends?...

Whenever they do, whenever I have free time, I end up sitting here alone watching terrible movies or television shows, moping about all the things in my life that don't feel right and wishing that I was one of those girls in the movies. It can't be that hard, right? And yet it is.

I want to have friends who want to hang out with me, not just have me over to make up the numbers. I want to have friends who want to hang out at my place from time to time, who like me unconditionally.

I want to be able to have a nice conversation with an old friend, and not have the email followup read "that was the most interesting conversation I had with a girl in a long time". Because I didn't think me being a girl should factor in us being old friends. Needless to say, it's been a month and I haven't found any need to reply.

I want to feel sexy.

I want to feel that I am more than just competent at what I do. I want to be great at something, anything really. I just want do not be so stupidly average at everything.

And I want this wishlist to be shorter.

Labels: cheer up emo Cat, lonely-Cat, unhappiness

posted by Catherine, 8:45 PM | permanent link | (1) comments

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Dear L...

Stop sending out group emails that make it seem like I am completely incompetent. I mean it.

Yes, we're missing 2.5 abstracts. I am well aware of that, given that I formatted the website / book so that those abstracts were just headings, and not proper outlines of their talks/poster. I even talked with the boss and we decided not to include the .5 of one person's abstract that we did have, preferring to leave hers out and include it in a page of errata after the fact, rather than have an unprofessional half-abstract in the book.

And yes, I have repeatedly chased those people up. By sending out your own chasing emails, you make me look completely incompetent in front of people from outside the university.

And yes, I am more capable than you to proofread this book. Just because you used to proofread joe's astronomy newsletter does not mean you have a better grasp of the English language than I. All it does is make you look like a bragging bitch.

Fuck you,
Me.

PS. "Monday lunchbox" is the most dumb name for a lunchtime meeting ever. I hope A smacks you down for it.

Labels: conferences, hating myself, stupid people, unhappiness, uni, wasting my life

posted by Catherine, 9:24 AM | permanent link | (0) comments

Friday, June 01, 2007

"You're just one graph away from feeling good about yourself"...

That's true, and it's actually pretty profound, but it's still one graph, and I'm a long way away from getting it.
On the other hand it's nice to know that the boss understands and knows how to make me realise that things aren't that bad.

And before we get totally emo about how much my PhD sucks, the producer got in touch with me today and we're going to meet up in person to discuss the project and whether we can work together. Sounds exciting, maybe something really will come of this.

Labels: it's about singing and dancing and making people happy, never going to graduate, phd, quotes, unhappiness

posted by Catherine, 11:07 PM | permanent link | (1) comments

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Elementary, my dear Watson...

My first spammer just registered for the conference. This is sad for all involved, because now I have to think about how to stop such fake registrations. I'm pretty certain that nuking anything with the word 'nigeria' in it would stop most of them, but it still makes me unhappy.

The worst bit is, I'm pretty sure he actually filled in all those text fields by hand, and so I know that he knows there's no where for him to link to his website or anything else there. And I think he gave real information too.

*sighs*

Labels: conferences, stupid people, unhappiness

posted by Catherine, 9:02 AM | permanent link | (0) comments

Friday, April 06, 2007

I thought black was meant to be slimming...

Dear blog, from now on please remind me that I'm not meant to pose for photos when wearing this much extra weight and having this little self-esteem. And I know that blogging like this is just begging for comments saying "you're not fat", but I don't want that, I just want to say that sometimes I feel it. Now is one of those times. And no, you don't get to see the photos. I've already deleted them.

Labels: Catheirne can't do anything right, crafty-Cat, fat-Cat, unhappiness

posted by Catherine, 6:24 PM | permanent link | (1) comments