The Blog

 Well, shit...

Sarah just pointed out that if life had gone according to plan we'd be finishing up our first postdocs around now.

Labels: life is fail, phd, suck

 I am such a boring person at the moment...

So I sat down on Monday to do a quick edit / runthrough of the chapter I wrote last year that the boss hadn't gotten around to reading because he's lazy, since he actually wanted to get to reading some of my stuff at long last. Six days, six pages and 2,000 new words later, I'm done, save for one equation that needs checking against the one in my notebook, because I think I'm down a factor of B_φ,s. *yawns* Ah well, time to get on with the real work I was going to do this weekend.

Actually, first I'm going to go fetch my washing from the line, as it may be dry and I don't trust this weather. But then I'll get on with the other work. And after that I'll have some fun.

Labels: losing sleep, marking, phd, thesis ftw, writing

 Not that I'm miserable or suicidal or anything...

Wisdom teeth out cost me: $50 hospital co-pay, $580 anaesthetic, $1,700 surgeon's fees = $2,330 (upfront. I raided my post-PhD vacation fund to pay those bills).
Medicare + my health insurance (in that order) have refunded/paid: rest of hospital, ($170.70 + 56.90) anaesthetic, (0 + $507) surgeon's fees = $734.6
Total out of pocket: Four or more weeks hostelling in Japan.
I don't really like to talk about money on the blog, but this was enough that I had to rant about it. We're talking more money than I've earned this financial year here, and most of the money I have earned this year has gone on my monthly health insurance bill (and my public transport costs and other people's birthday presents).

In other news, in case you missed it, the big earthquake in chile has made the day shorter and I'm not going to feel guilty about my lack of desire to reproduce, regardless of what Kevin Rudd or my grandmother may think (that said, I'm very happy for the acquaintance who I spotted across a mall today who it seems is very pregnant). Also, if you're one of the few people on the internet who hasn't seen this yet, you have to see this.

Expect better news about the thesis tomorrow, I hope. Right now I'm overtired and headed to bed. Sorry for any incoherences.

Labels: linking all over the place, money matters, phd, still poor, teeth, tired

Party Time!

Today I emailled the boss a more or less "complete" draft of a thesis chapter. For all that it's chapter two, this is the first time I've actually sent him something for this project (honours was 5.5 years ago now, it hardly counts), so I'm a little terrified, but he replied back with a promise that "[he's] looking forward to making comments ranging from the bleeding obvious to the sublime", so I'm going to hope for the best and celebrate the achievement that saw me working all long weekend and not regretting a second of it.

Said celebration has taken the form of a visit to my favourite restaurant here in Cambridge, where I had a delicious Latvian potato bake, a beer, and dessert has just been delivered. I think I may have earned it.

I take it back. I don't even know what one could to earn this - it's simply indulgent and not even the long walk back to my b&b in the rain will see me deserve this kind of deliciousness.

Chocolate Wake-Up Cake, from the Rainbow Cafe.

Labels: cake, death by chocolate, england, phd, science, thesis ftw, trip09

Some Good News...

After all those doctors appointments, and being poked and prodded all over, they've concluded that:

• I don't get enough Vitamin D
• I'm stressed
• Everything else is normal (at least in 20% of women).

So that's all good and I am not actually dying.

Working on a big web project at uni (what PhD?) so have little time to blog, but will try to catch everyone up soon.

Labels: phd, sickly-Cat, university politics have got me down, vitamins, web stuff

   A Toast...

To getting the model for my PhD working, after four years of suffering!



Now I guess I ought to run it lots and get some interesting results, yes?

Labels: feeling better (with application of alcohol), may yet graduate someday, phd

   SC's PhD FAQ of Love and Justice...

Q: Why does it take 4 years to write one computer program?
A: Because it's hard.
(I get this one a lot more often than I would like. I could waffle on about ODEs and why they make your life difficult but the simple truth of the matter is I'm not done yet because this stuff is fucking hard.)

Q: You can just buy it with your scholarship, right?
A: No, I don't have a scholarship. It's why we can't find my desk under all the marking I have to do.
Q: But if you don't have a scholarship, how can you afford to live in Sydney?
A: I'm one of those pathetic adults who still lives with their parents because they can't afford to live in Sydney. At least I'm not in the basement.
Q: But, seriously, how do you pay your bills?
A: I'm hasty and a crybaby, but to tell the truth I'm one of the highest paid call girls in Sydney. No, really, stop asking about money, dad.
(This was an actual conversation with my father, but enough variations on it have occurred that it goes in the FAQ.)

Q: So what, exactly, is it that you do all day?
A: I sit in front of a computer, twiddling boundary conditions and running my code over and over again. Sometimes I write to my thesis while I wait for it to run, sometimes I write angry blog posts.
Q: But any monkey could do that!
A: And we're all glad they chose this one, aren't we?

Q: Should *I* do a PhD?
A: No. Seriously, no.

Any other questions?

Labels: faq, phd, rant, stupid people

   If my handwriting is any indication...

...I'm ready for my PhD now.

Labels: a godawful mess, handwriting, phd

   Only 78,800 to go...

Spent all day working on the thesis, and got a fair amount done, though it doesn't feel like it. Have 2.5 pages that I wouldn't be ashamed to show my supervisor (though a few notes to myself that are still in there would be a bit embarrassing) and some highly edited and tightened up plans for the rest of the lit review.

I'm still embarrassed that it's taken me this long to get around to doing it properly, and a bit bummed that my brain has decided to shut down in the last five minutes when I still have two more paragraphs to write before bed, but I'll just go to sleep early tonight and write them in the morning before uni. I've got my notes mostly sorted, now I just need to find the words and check the references when I've got my head on straight.

Oh, and I guess I need to actually get my original research working, but that's a problem for tomorrow afternoon when I check in with the boss (please let me be up to four pages and a plan for the next section by then).

Labels: 1000 words, phd, thesis ftw, writing

   Oh my...

I just found myself a list of goals for doing my PhD. Among them I found:
10. Testing - reproduce K&K's results - January '05.
I was only out by a month and three years.

Labels: deadlines hurt my brain, never going to graduate, phd

   More on just how much I rock...

The science behind these images requires a lot of explaining, but the images themselves are easy to explain: they're my results (in red) pasted over the results of the guys whose work I've been duplicating. (I haven't done the middle sections because they're not that important and they're more image editing that I'm too lazy to do *grins*.) Purple is the expected solutions that things are meant to tend towards (and where you can't see purple, it means things exactly overlap).

Labels: happily ever after, iCatherine, never going to graduate, phd

   Yeah, I rock...

After 4 years (-2 days) and much heartache, I finally, finally got my code to match the results of those dudes who came before (to 1%, which is very good all things considered). I think that means I win.

Now I suppose it's time for some original research.

Labels: happily ever after, never going to graduate, phd, reaffirming my faith in humanity

   You don't even remember, do you..?

I'm really tired of feeling like I don't belong.

Labels: family, I want to go home now, phd, sending our love down the well

   Yo, all...

Been very slack with blogging recently, I know. But it's okay, because the PhD is mostly going along, I survived my review meeting without tears and someday I hope to graduate. Please god let me graduate. Oh, and I moved offices again. Which was probably the best solution to the bee problem (though filling the hole in the wall was a good attempt).




I'm going away to Mudgee tomorrow, to get some driving experience, since I'm only halfway through the practice I need to get my driver's license. I'd like to get my P plates before I go away in December. Have fun without me, and don't burn the place down in my absence.

ETA: I keep forgetting to tell you guys, but I signed up for a cake decorating class. Expect interesting photos once it starts.

Labels: bees, cake, feeling better (with application of alcohol), fire pretty, mudgee, odd smells in my office, phd

   AIIEEEEEE!!!!! BEES!!!!...

The PhD is going great, I'm having so much fun at the moment and the thought of spending my entire long weekend working on it doesn't fill me with dread at all.

So instead, I would just like to declare: Bees! In my office!!!

Labels: bees, odd smells in my office, phd

   300 posts later...

...and I still want to do this blogging thing. Who would have thought?

So, in the personal news, Minako is back! Woo! *does the happy laptop dance, which sounds much dirtier than it actually is*

James bought me some stickers from MOO with my flickr photos on them, and I've been gleefully sticking them all over my once immaculately white iBook. I'll post photos later, I imagine.

Actually, on the subject of photos, the other week I knitted a scarf in three days for my dear friend Nilanka's birthday. It was the short row rib from Magknits, knitted in Vintage Hues by Cleckheaton and it was really fun to knit something fun and simple for a change. Which is to say something other than my jacket of doom (last seen in this blog post by my mum), which is coming along nicely, but the last stages (knitting the collar and sewing it up) are going very slow.

As a part of her birthday present I also promised to teach Nilanka how to knit herself, and so last Sunday I went to see her and taught her how to both knit and purl and she's now the proud creator of the first 15cm of a scarf in a 3 rows knit, 3 rows purl rib (much the same as the one I knitted for her, but without the short rows). It's very pretty and I hope she enjoys knitting from now on. I may have to go back in a week or two to teach her how to cast off.

I've also knitted a scarf for Heidi in the last few weeks, but I forgot to photograph it. :(

I'm currently at 6 pages on "Skirting the Paradox", for those who care about my fictional works. I'd love to have this finished soon, but I'm really bad at writing fight scenes, and when you get right down to it the whole story is one long string of fight scenes. *sighs* I kinda just want to skip them and get on with the fun mystery stuff, because that's really the point of the story, but the violent setting keeps getting in the way.

Oh, and I suppose you want to know about the PhD. Well, I think I finally made a breakthrough today. I'm still not going to finish anytime soon, but I feel like I know what's going on and where I'm headed. I'm sure that'll only last a day or two, but right at this moment, I'm feeling good about it.

James has started a new job today. That makes me inordinately happy. I imagine he'll be blogging about it soon enough. In the meantime, everyone should go and read his post where he points out the uncanny resemblance between the latest iPod posters and screenshots from Battle Royale. Because it's awesome and while I believed him when he first told me that was what they look like I didn't realise just how similar the imagery was.

My sister has packed herself a "go-bag" in case of terrorist attack during the APEC summit next month. We're reasonably certain she's being ironic, since it primarily consists of her St John's Ambulance first aid kit (which she keeps in her car anyway), a change of clothes and a packet of timtams (which will someday run out), but you can never be too sure.

My grandmother on my father's side is currently in the Sydney Eye Hospital (she had the cataracts removed from one eye last week and it promptly became infected) and yesterday she had an operation which was apparently successful. She's in the room next door to Anthony Mundine, who's got himself a horrible eye infection because he noticed a speck on his contact lens and licked it to get it clean. The good news is that my nanna will be fine, the bad news is that no one is sure about "the Man".

Actually, while we're on the subject of Catherine's relatives, my grandmother on my mum's side recently loaned me her collection of newspaper clippings about her father (my great grandfather), Edward Michael Boland. My mum took the time to scan them all into a pdf file for posterity, and it's available for download if you are interested in my family history. He was a great man (even the Queen recognised it, giving him an OBE *smiles*), being Apprenticeship Commissioner in NSW for more than 20 years, known for being fair minded and working with Liberal governments in power despite him being a Labor man through and through. Grandma informed me that the Liberal government actually changed the age of retirement laws so that he could stay on longer in his job.

My favourite quote from the collection reads:
The Commissioner is not concerned that his OBE puts in the same order of chivalry as the Beatles with their MBEs. But he commented wryly: "I still prefer youths with hair short back and sides."
- (We think the Sunday Telegraph), 27th June, 1965


Moving on to the world outside my circle of peoples, we have a couple of great bits of news to discuss:

Giant Lego man washed up on Dutch beach
This is just amazing. Both for the quotes ("I saw the Lego toy floating towards the beach from the direction of England.") and for the thought that maybe he was made to walk the plank on a giant Lego pirate ship. Or maybe he was just washed overboard. We may never know!


China tells living Buddhas to obtain permission before they reincarnate
You read that right. The Dalai Lama must now ask permission (no doubt in triplicate) before he reincarnates.
And while that sounds amusing at first (and indeed, those of us here in the office laughed when we first read it), it's also terribly sad when you think of the Chinese government using this power to corrupt the beautiful mysticism of the Tibetan people.

Skipping away from depressing news, the new iMacs were released today. I think they're pretty ugly, what with the giant black border around the screen (which is really a quite clever way of hiding the fact that you can't actually fit a computer in the space behind the screen alone), but they're better than the mockups James showed me last week and still reasonably sexy. And I'm sad to say that I want one like burning. Good thing they haven't released Leopard yet, or I'd be in trouble. Bloody Steve.

And this story about Magic has just made my day. I must wire some of those switches into my life.

So, this is the end of my 300th blog post. Was it good for you too?

Labels: crafty-Cat, Domus Prime, family, history, iCatherine, knitting, lego, longest blog ever, magic, never going to graduate, news, old photographs, phd, reality distortion field, web stuff, writing

   "You're just one graph away from feeling good about yourself"...

That's true, and it's actually pretty profound, but it's still one graph, and I'm a long way away from getting it.
On the other hand it's nice to know that the boss understands and knows how to make me realise that things aren't that bad.

And before we get totally emo about how much my PhD sucks, the producer got in touch with me today and we're going to meet up in person to discuss the project and whether we can work together. Sounds exciting, maybe something really will come of this.

Labels: it's about singing and dancing and making people happy, never going to graduate, phd, quotes, unhappiness

   Snippets of an Update...

• Got enough HWWS conference registrations (and enough speakers not attending the dinner and pizza nights) that we can afford to give everyone gingerbread in their conference bags. Bags are still cheap ones, but they now will contain mq-branded mugs, books and pens, and star-shaped gingerbread, along with some tacky 'health bars' that we're getting for free. Yay team budget!
• The PhD is suffering because of the stupid conferences. Fortunately, I think that after today I'll be back on top of things (currently coding up the schedules and the like, which is horrible).
• I have knitted about ten rows since the last time I posted the scarf, which meant that I was in no rush to take photos this week (the fact that I've only had one night off this week may have also had something to do with it). I might do something about it tonight, but I might just go home and sleep.
• Heidi and Tony got to move in to their new house on Wednesday night. It's great, perfectly suited to them (no lawn to mow, just enough of a garden that it won't take Heidi forever to manage it and huge lounge rooms for having lots of people over to watch movies). Their furniture will follow tomorrow (hooray for moving days!), the internet will arrive in 2 weeks and then it really will be their house, full of their stuff. I'm so jealous.
• On the subject of jealousy, Manda (*Star) has gotten engaged to her boy, and it looks like they're going to live happily ever after. Congratulations you guys.
• I got an email wednesday about a film producer seeking a 'physics consultant' for a new screenplay they're working on. I replied yesterday morning, but haven't heard back yet. I hope I do.
• And blogger's autosave feature let's me know when my html is broken. I approve. (There's nothing quite like having to wait until it finishes uploading to see that you screwed up and now your blog is broken.)

Labels: blogger, conferences, feeling lucky, happily ever after, Heidi, knitting, never going to graduate, nice people are nice, phd, uni

   My subconscious works in mysterious ways...

I figured it out.

I'm not knitting it because I wanted to knit the most geeky thing imaginable (and short of knitting myself katamari ears the scarf was the most geeky thing ever).

I'm not knitting it because I need something to get me through the conference planning.

And I'm not knitting it because my earliest memories of childhood tv are of the Muppets and Doctor Who (even though they are, but not crossed over, because that would be weird and I wonder if they ever did that? The Muppet Wiki says "no", but then I found this BBC poll, which is good enough really and can I write Doctor Honeydew meets Doctor Who fanfiction please?)

Nope, I'm doing it because when you get right down to it, a Fourth Doctor scarf is absolutely necessary to complete this outfit:
and I'm going to wear one of those floppy hats if it kills me.

Labels: doctor who, knitting, may yet graduate someday, phd

   I want my sleep cycle back, you son of a bitch...

Dear PhD,
I'm so fucking sick of the nightmares. Make them go away again, and I promise I will finish this year. Please?
Just let me have one good night's sleep, and I'll even finish that chapter for you.
Stop making things harder than they already are.
No love,
Me.

Labels: hating myself, Inigo Montoya, losing sleep, phd, so I dreamed about my supervisor as Darth Mark - what does that mean?, the Harry Potter / Domus Prime crossover seems more likely every day

   So, at the end of three years...

I have:

• 1.5 (draft) chapters of my thesis written;
• no real results to speak of (though I have duplicated the results of others, which I'm told is a good place to start);
• only 1 year left in which to get this bitch done.

Is it any wonder I'm depressed?

Labels: astronomy, freakshow, hating myself, latex ftw (but not the fun sort of latex), never going to graduate, phd, thesis ftl, wasting my life