Sailor Coruscant...

If you are nice to anyone you will be stepped by one...

2008-08-20T09:29:00.004+10:00

New words that piss me off:...

- billennia: crappy popular science writer shorthand for "billions of years". Derived from a fundamental misunderstanding of how many years there are in a millennium.

Okay, that's the only one I can think of right at this second, but I'm sure there are others that I've purged from memory that I'll edit back in later.

I don't want to waste my time on simple little things...

2008-08-05T13:00:00.004+10:00

The stats from MacFest '08 day 1...

A short breakdown on the people with stalls:

Christian groups (primarily prosperity-preaching evangelicals): 40%
Nationality-based groups: 30% (There are some overlaps, such as the Chinese Catholic Students Association, but these stats were never going to be terribly precise)
Other religious groups: 2% (I think I saw the jewish students group somewhere)
Charitable groups (eg. Amnesty, Cancer Council, Macquarie students who want to help the starving children in Africa (yeah, they didn't have an acronym)): 10%
Clubs based on choice of major (eg. economics students association): 10%
Actual clubs for hobbies or social activities (eg. role-playing society, dramac): 8%

I feel old and unwelcome. Even the clubs I used to have membership of don't seem to be there anymore. Now if only our corporate overlords had shown up, there might have been some free food to scab. But I'm assured they'll be there tomorrow, so there may yet be ramen for Catherine.

it's so delicious and moist...

2008-08-05T10:02:00.002+10:00

Being Nice is Nice, I guess...

Gave my busdriver a cupcake this morning. I'm sure she thought I was joking when I offered her one, but she waited when she saw me running and then said "ooh, and she has cakes" when I got on the bus, so I did what came naturally and offered her one. At the end of the ride, I handed over a coffee mudcake wrapped nicely in a tissue and told her to have a wonderful day. I hope she trusts me enough to eat it.

But anon her awful jubilant voice...

2008-08-03T17:55:00.004+10:00

Still alive...

Went to the park and was amazed to find a pair of black swans there. Haven't seen swans there since about 1989 or so. Read a few chapters of the novel I'm currently enjoying (the bridge, by Iain Banks) then came home. Oh, and Mum showed up with junk food.

As usual, was able to find someone else able to articulate how I am feeling much better than I ever could.

ETA: Swans, bitches.

Poems in pencil rhyming...

2008-08-03T14:05:00.005+10:00

sighs...

Yesterday, Julia and I threw a rather successful party for 20 people celebrating the fact that D'Arth is getting married (I really ought to finish illustrating that, ne?). Was exhausted and overwrought by the time I got home (and thanks again to Mum for being my driver for the day).

Today I'm so lonely I could cry and am getting my kicks by switching off the cable modem for 30 seconds at a time in order to drive my kid brother mad.

blinks... two minutes later, she remembers to open her eyes

2008-07-28T15:04:00.002+10:00

Dear Mum...

Next time, keep your cold to yourself.

So strike a pose on a Cadillac...

2008-07-26T18:13:00.006+10:00

And continuing the random linkage throughout Saturday...

Baby's First Internet

in search of good times and good news

2008-07-22T14:52:00.007+10:00

The closing of tabs and other fun links I've been sitting on for a while...

The plot for Act I of the sequel to the Phantom of the Opera. I keep wishing it is a parody, but something tells me it's not. I'm going to see Phantom again on the 2nd of September with D'Arth Mathias and her fiance, and it's going to be awesome. Hoping for Anthony Warlow again.

Neil Gaiman interviews Terry Pratchett - these guys are two of my favourite writers, and it makes me happy that they're such good friends.

The breeding properties of M&Ms - I love this story, and will happily join in this behaviour.

Newspaper Blackout Poems by Austin Kleon.

These two Cat and Girl comics bring warm feelings to my heart.

And I want to buy this book based solely on its cover art. Actually, having browsed the galleries, I want to read any book with a cover by Dan Dos Santos. Because it's all amazing. And if the books turn out to be crap I would want to write new books based on his images. I love them.

I think that's it for the moment. *grins* Have a nice weekend, all.

Sing a song of sorrow and grieving...

2008-07-18T15:35:00.004+10:00

Tired of trekking across the city to see people...

...and yet no one gets that it doesn't mean I'm sick of them. What it means is that it's 7 degrees out, I don't have a car and I currently can't feel my fingers. So I don't want to spend two hours on public transport meeting you on your side of town and then two hours going home when the temperature is most likely sub-freezing. It's decidedly unpleasant.

Also, when I say I don't want to go to a conference, it means I don't want to go. Not that I want to be persuaded by you because look at all the wonderful warm feelings you're going to get out of it and you get to visit your daughter and your good friends in Canberra and you're not even a fucking student anymore, you submitted! Fuck off, I don't want to go, and I really don't want to go with you.

Am looking forward to going home and watching avatar. I still can't quite believe it's nearly over.

She's a shooting star...

2008-07-11T21:56:00.004+10:00

My fortune for today...

"True love... is like chocolate without the calorie."

I want whatever chocolate my fortune is eating.

Won't you come see me after 12am?

2008-07-08T13:32:00.005+10:00

You will be pleased to note...

...that I just paid my bill and will remain at this url for another two years. This is good.

If anyone has visited the site recently, you'll note a mess of broken links and odd formatting. Apologies, I'm working on it in what little free time I have at the moment.

And since I'm here I might as well blog this column and this video are my favourite web things from the last week.

To see your shoes and your spirits rise...

2008-06-20T22:25:00.004+10:00

Follow-up on the Apple Store...

To spare those who already see my flickr stream on the planet or in their rss readers, I'm not going to link all the images here, but rather I'm just going to tell the story over on flickr. There is, however one little bit that won't go up there, and that would be my dodgy video of James and Beto's arrival and high-fiving!

Yes, I know I'm lame. But I have an apple tshirt (currently going for between $60-100 on ebay) and you don't, so I still win.

no lyrics, just the sound of fangirls cheering...

2008-06-19T18:21:00.001+10:00

Hello from the Apple Store!...

And I'm playing on a macbook air. It's so awesome. And tiny.

I'm also the proud owner of a tshirt in a box. Which is also awesome. I want to go out and enter again, because it's so much fun. Everyone is cheering, and I'm somewhat drunk on the atmosphere, if you can believe that. Worth standing in the rain.

強い　磁石みたいに　キミは　引き寄せる

2008-06-17T16:22:00.011+10:00

The Mary Poppins Bag...

When I was in High School, my backpack always seemed to contain more stuff than there was physically room for, with a bit of space left over for something extra someone needed me to carry. So we called it the Mary Poppins bag, and it was silly good fun.

Of course, these days I realise that the problem with bags that are bigger on the inside is that you can never find that Freddo Frog you know is hidden on the bottom somewhere unless you unpack the entire thing.

Come on baby, Dancin' star...

2008-06-16T13:56:00.005+10:00

Oh Sweet Jebus...

They're spelled compact disc and encyclopaedia. It's not that hard.

Step out to be myself again...

2008-06-15T20:45:00.006+10:00

Why do they leave me alone on the weekends?...

Whenever they do, whenever I have free time, I end up sitting here alone watching terrible movies or television shows, moping about all the things in my life that don't feel right and wishing that I was one of those girls in the movies. It can't be that hard, right? And yet it is.

I want to have friends who want to hang out with me, not just have me over to make up the numbers. I want to have friends who want to hang out at my place from time to time, who like me unconditionally.

I want to be able to have a nice conversation with an old friend, and not have the email followup read "that was the most interesting conversation I had with a girl in a long time". Because I didn't think me being a girl should factor in us being old friends. Needless to say, it's been a month and I haven't found any need to reply.

I want to feel sexy.

I want to feel that I am more than just competent at what I do. I want to be great at something, anything really. I just want do not be so stupidly average at everything.

And I want this wishlist to be shorter.

'til you've drowned in the light, in the sound...

2008-06-06T20:17:00.005+10:00

A Toast...

To getting the model for my PhD working, after four years of suffering!

Now I guess I ought to run it lots and get some interesting results, yes?

stranger than you dreamt it...

2008-06-04T22:53:00.003+10:00

Dear Family...

The whole "using my bathtowel and toothbrush" thing has gotten really really old.

I will buy new ones tomorrow, and if it happens again, I'm throwing all of your toothbrushes in the bin, regardless of who it was that committed the crime.

wandering child, so lost, so helpless...

2008-06-04T20:40:00.007+10:00

I may just be the luckiest girl in the world...

I got to see the Phantom of the Opera again today. That makes three times for this production: last tuesday night, last saturday's matinée, and then today's matinée. I was only expecting to attend two of them, but K's sister was ill this morning and didn't want her ticket to go to waste.

As a result, I've gotten to see all three of the Phantoms we have performing in Sydney (okay, I missed the "understudy" (as opposed to the "alternates"), but given that he was playing Raoul in all three performances, I don't feel like I missed out on watching him perform a sexy part. :) ). There was no competition as to who was the best: every word that Anthony Warlow sung sent shivers down my spine and I wanted him and Christine to end up together all the way until he flipped out in the end, and even then I felt sorry for the poor man. He was amazing, and sexy and he was the Phantom. I'm so glad I got to see him.

Saturday, the Phantom was sung by Simon Pryce, who was okay, but he was a very different Phantom, not as strong, a bit more pathetic. He sang it fine, but he didn't have the depth of character, and you never really cheered for him. He was more of a madman, and I wondered why Christine was ever really entranced by him. That said, he was performing with Sarah Bakker (the understudy for Christine) and she played a more self-aware Christine, a little stronger of voice and personality, and somehow giving her more spirit was a good foil to making the Phantom a whispering madman. Now if only they'd been able to keep his headpiece stuck down at the edges, I might have believed in his deformity.

The third, Roy Weissensteiner, was a very Michael Crawford-like Phantom. I've not seen Crawford perform, but his is the canonical version we've all heard so many times on all our cds and compilations, and Weissensteiner's voice was very similar. Dramatic, spine tinglingly creepy, and I was crying at the end when she abandoned him. Sarah Bakker has amazing charisma and is able to play her role so well that at the end, when she's hesitant to leave him, you really believe that she's torn between the two men, that she doesn't want to leave the Phantom alone there in the dark.

The makeup also looked best on Warlow, probably because he doesn't have any hair they need to hide beneath the prosthetics, so his head isn't too mishapen. :) Oh, and I want to steal the Phantom's Composing Hat (link to a geocities image, may not work, click here to see the original page).

Hmm, I'm not sure what to add now... I think my favourite costume of all is Carlotta's from Masquerade (she was wearing the spider one, with the beadwork and the little wings) and I'd love to have the time and energy to make it for myself. Not sure what that says about me. Anyway, I've been having fun, I'm sorry I've not been blogging much, it's just been a very emotional (and busy few weeks for me).

Oh, and in case anyone is interested, this and this are what's been preventing me from sleeping for the last few weeks (the second are the test pages, don't tell the boss I linked you to them).

damn you... curse you...

2008-05-31T11:55:00.002+10:00

To the Redback I just met in the shower...

Fuck you and your entire species. I hope you go extinct.

I remember only good days...

2008-05-17T11:21:00.002+10:00

Battlestar Rant...

Man, I have so many problems with the BSG "finding the map to earth in the stars" scene it's not funny. I'm willing to let the "seeing every constellation on the elliptic at one time" thing slide, because it would be a crap map without a 360 view around the planet and whatever. Although that does make Starbuck's "we're standing on Earth" line complete bullocks.

I'm almost tempted to let the "referring to the Lagoon Nebula as M8" thing slide. Because hell, it is the correct Messier catalog number for it, and maybe people started out on Earth, before they moved to Kobol, and our extremely esoteric catalogue of "~100 things that are not comets" could have stuck around the scientific literature or something.

But seriously guys. Couldn't you even get the constellation right? M8 is in Sagittarius, and all of the Messier objects in Scorpius are a completely different class of objects. Two minutes on wikipedia could have saved your arses a whole lot of embarrassment.

some boys slow dance...

2008-05-09T20:47:00.004+10:00

A pocket full of seashells...

Today was a glorious day.
The sort of day where some part of your brain kicks in and says "you remember how it rained for months and months and they think it will be raining again next week? why are you sitting here making yourself miserable?" and you stop, and you think about it for a moment, and you can't come up with a reason to sit there any longer so you say "fuck it, I'm going to the beach!"

And you do!
I put myself on a series of buses, and took myself to the beach I was most familiar with the public transport options to -- Manly! Which is such a nice place, and right from the moment I stepped off the bus I could smell the salt water. Oddly enough, it made my stomach grumble (it had been a long time on the buses) so I wandered through some shops and eventually found myself some nice seaside lunch!
And the usual crowd showed up to try and share:
But it was okay because I was too greedy and wouldn't share (and there were enough people feeding them chips that I didn't actually feel bad about not sharing my very yummy sushi (which was quite cheap too - $5.70 for all that)). And who could pay the seagulls any attention with a view like this:
After I'd slowed down the rumbling of my tummy, it was time to actually enjoy the beach that I'd traveled so far to see. I took my shoes off and headed off down the sand.
and found myself a nice sandy (and shady, since I'd forgotten my hat) spot to sit down on, where I could just listen to the waves coming in.
I tried to take a self portrait to prove I was there, but I was replaced by aliens at the last moment.

I sat there for a long time, running my toes through the sand, writing and doodling and just trying to remember the last time I did something creative and how it used to feel when I was more than just someone who spent all day working on a boring PhD. It was really nice, and I wasn't just feeling sorry for myself, there was some real soul searching going on there. No conclusions, but at least I'm looking now.
As the shadows got longer all of the chronic sunbathers went home (or maybe to their nearest solarium, I have no idea. These people had leather instead of skin), leaving the beach even more peaceful than before.

I was feeling better about the whole no-longer-a-creative-person thing, so I packed up my notes, tried to get most of the sand off me, rolled up my pants and headed for the water at last.

The water was so nice and warm! If I'd had a swimsuit (or maybe even just less impractical underwear) I would have gone for a proper swim, because the temperature was just perfect! (The lack of waves higher than my knees was but a small disappointment.) I love the Pacific Ocean, particularly the East Australian Current which keeps our beaches nice and warm even in the colder months. It brings warm feelings to my heart and makes me want to go back tomorrow.

But it was not to last, as I had promised my mother I'd be home in time for dinner (first time all week, I think I'll have to work on that). So I took one more photo of me (in the hopes of not looking like a goth this time) and started heading back.
I may have stopped by the New Zealand Natural shop on the way back for the customary "I went to Manly and all I got was this lousy Ice Cream"...

...but there's absolutely no evidence to say that I did. :)

As the sun was starting to set I made my way to the wharf and put myself on a ferry back to the city. Because nothing says "Sydney Harbour is a deathtrap!" like riding on the Sydney ferries.
I got to watch the sun go down...
All in all, a most satisfying day away from the university. I almost feel up to going in and actually working on my PhD on monday. Pity my iMac's being delivered. *grins*

There are a few more photos up on my flickr set, since I figured I'd spammed you all enough for one post. I'm sure I'll be back to my regular moping in no time.

Check it up, I funk it up....

2008-05-09T10:14:00.003+10:00

Screw my unhappy brain...

My shiny new iMac should be arriving on monday. I think I'll take a day off to celebrate.

Gah, I'll need to think of a name for it...

Won’t you come see me after 12AM...

2008-05-08T14:11:00.004+10:00

Fuckity...

Figured out the reason I wasn't buying a new computer is because I don't feel that I have earned a new computer or any other shiny things. IT'S NOT MY FAULT I HAVEN'T FIGURED THIS SHIT OUT YET, IT'S HARD DAMNIT!!!

No matter how sad your dreams are...

2008-05-08T10:45:00.005+10:00

SC's PhD FAQ of Love and Justice...

Q: Why does it take 4 years to write one computer program?
A: Because it's hard.
(I get this one a lot more often than I would like. I could waffle on about ODEs and why they make your life difficult but the simple truth of the matter is I'm not done yet because this stuff is fucking hard.)

Q: You can just buy it with your scholarship, right?
A: No, I don't have a scholarship. It's why we can't find my desk under all the marking I have to do.
Q: But if you don't have a scholarship, how can you afford to live in Sydney?
A: I'm one of those pathetic adults who still lives with their parents because they can't afford to live in Sydney. At least I'm not in the basement.
Q: But, seriously, how do you pay your bills?
A: I'm hasty and a crybaby, but to tell the truth I'm one of the highest paid call girls in Sydney. No, really, stop asking about money, dad.
(This was an actual conversation with my father, but enough variations on it have occurred that it goes in the FAQ.)

Q: So what, exactly, is it that you do all day?
A: I sit in front of a computer, twiddling boundary conditions and running my code over and over again. Sometimes I write to my thesis while I wait for it to run, sometimes I write angry blog posts.
Q: But any monkey could do that!
A: And we're all glad they chose this one, aren't we?

Q: Should *I* do a PhD?
A: No. Seriously, no.

Any other questions?