The Blog - The Archive

   A very long day...
Today has just plain sucked. I had a bit of a fight with James, broke down and sat on some steps sobbing at north sydney station for a time, then finally was able to get myself onto a train, which only went two stops before I had to change to a bus for the next two stops, as there are no trains running through the city this weekend. And then I couldn't get a train out to where I live because of further trackwork out there, so I asked my mum to come and pick me up from lidcombe, which is about a 10 minute drive from my house. I gave her 15 minutes warning and it still took her another 10 minutes after I got to the station to get there. So yeah, despite being the only person on the train with the latest harry potter book, I wasn't in a very good mood.
Then I got home, and sat in my roiom reading for a while, since I couldn't use the computer since my sister had stolen my chair to rest my tv on while she had it on her side of the room so she could watch dvds using the playstation she stole from the computer room. She was watching resident evil, and once the movie finished she allowed it to sit on the menu screen for 12 (I was watching) minutes, before I got the shits and turned the television off. Immediately she starts screaming about how she was watching that and that it was her right to sit and watch the menu screen for as long as she wanted and that I should just go move somewhere else if I didn't like her watching the menu screen.
Okay, so I got rather mad at this point, and did something that was petty and stupid, but crappy computerised rythmic patterns that pretend to be music do that to me. I turned on the computer sound system rather loudly with some nice jazz piano, which drowned out the television nicely. So then she went and got mum, and mum started yelling at me for being inconsidered, and it was a full five minutes before she actually stopped to hear that liz was upset because she couldn't hear the music on the menu screen. I mean, dear god, resident evil was a terrible movie, but the menu screen was worse even than that.
Finally, after they all had decided completely and utterly that I was a terrible person (which pretty much summed up the badness between me and James too), I decided that I'd had enough and didn'r want to be there any more. So I walked out of the house, and down the road, and up the hill and just kept walking for a time. I didn't have any shoes on, and it was pretty cold out, but I didn't care. The funny thing was, I really didn't mind it. I was just walking. And if I'd had some sort of bag with me, or maybe shoes, I don't know that I would have turned back. I just wanted to walk and I did.
After an hour or so, I was back home, and I found out that my mum had apparently been searching the neighbourhood for me with no success (it seems she'd been misdirected by my sister's boyfriend, who reported that he'd seen me walk off in one direction when I'd actually gone in the opposite. Incidentally, I did know that he'd seen me, his car is kinda easily recognised by the noise). A part of me was annoyed that she'd been freaking out, because she hadn't shown any concern when I was sobbing on the bed because she was yelling at me. Why would she care if I just walked out without caring where I was going?
It's just kinda like that sometimes.

Labels: this was before tags