The Blog

  My Junkyard's Gone...
That's all I want to say about that now. Maybe I'll come back here tomorrow.

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   Goodnight, my Junkyard...

Goodnight my Junkyard,
The place I came to cry.
You were always there to listen,
You were always on my side.
I made a bunch of friends here
I'll treasure all my life,
And though we live without you,
Our friendships will survive.
This was my place of refuge,
You were my one true home.
This was a place of salvage,
Where lost ones found their pride.
The battles that we fought here,
Existed only in our minds.
The friendships that we formed here,
No battles could divide.
But now the times have changed us,
And our paths diverge and die.
So I'll say goodnight, my Junkyard,
But I'll never say goodbye.

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   *Essay Writing*...

In that city, there wasn’t even one person. There were houses, and you could see light shining in the windows. But on the roads there wasn’t anyone. I looked through a window. There was a person. But he was with “that”. I looked into another house. As expected, he was with “that”. But that’s because being with “that” is fun. More fun than being with other people. No one is going outside anymore. In this city, there isn’t anyone. I’m going out on a journey. A journey to another city. I hope that someone just for me finds me there. But if that person becomes attached to me and me only then it’ll be time for the two of us to part. But I still want to meet someone just for me. Thinking of that, I travel on to another empty city...
- Chobits, Episode 5.

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   *sighs*...
Hey all. Finally noticed the problem with the auto-formatting, and reformatted every post in the diary just to show how much I care.
It should all be much prettier now.
Sorry about that.

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   Homework...
Hey all!
Here I am to provide you with amusement and all the rest of it. As you may be aware, I have a big essay due in this week, so here I am, doing my research. Actually, I'm taking a few minutes to myself in between studying, but that's beside the point.
I found this cool quote in one of the books I'm studying, I thought I'd share with the internet:

"Deep down, our psches know that 1s and 0s cannot love, nurture, hurt or kill us at a distance."
"What Will Be: How the New World of Information Will Change Our Lives", Michael Dertouzos, Piatkus, 1997.

What does this tell you about my essay? If you guessed it's something to do with A.I.s, you'd be right.
I'll post the whole thing in week or so, once I'm sure it's all good and handed in and safe from plagerism and stuff.
Anyway, back to my book now (see chibi above)...

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   Bored again...
It's a friday, and we all know what that means! Catherine had today off uni!
Well, that was the theory. In truth, Catherine was convinced to come into uni to work at the planetarium, and went to speak to a guy about further study, but at least some time next week, or so, she should have an extra $50 in her bank account. Yay team.
And now I'm bored, because theoretically I was supposed to be going to the movies with James-chan now, but he's helping Heidi do a comp226 assignment and so I'm sitting here bored out of my brain. I even figured out how to do my dumb maths assignment, so I might end up doing that tonight.
I'm going to go for a walk, I think. Have to hand in a timesheet and all.

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   On Love...

Love is a many-splendoured thing; Love lifts us up where we belong; All you need is love...

Maybe not, actually. Love is all sparkles and light when you first fall in love, but after a while, it drops back down to normal, almost commonplace proportions. Sure, your heart still beats a million miles an hour when he walks into the room and when he looks at you, you melt like icecream left in the sun on a summer's afternoon, but there's a part of your brain that has to remain slightly rational, otherwise you'd never get anything done.

And it's always this part that gets you into trouble. It's this part that lets you speak your mind and it's this part that forgets sometimes that love isn't rational or organised, and that people aren't perfect. In fact, people are generally downright nasty, myself included. I mean, look at my rant the other day. Although I was just getting a bunch of stuff off my chest, stuff that's been bugging me for years, that's not going to say that I didn't end up hurting someone by it. And I didn't even mean to.

That's why people suck. Because no matter how much we love each other, or think we do, we always end up hurting one another, hopefully unintentionally, but sometimes it occurs with real malice. Or at least perceived malice. And all we can do is apologise and hope that the other person will forgive us. Because that's what true love is all about, right? It's about loving someone complete with all their faults and imperfections, knowing that despite all your faults and imperfections, they still love you. At least, that is what I hope it's meant to be. Truthful, brutally honest, and yet somehow wonderful, because despite the pain it causes, one comes out of the experience feeling that they are a better person, or at least that they are more aware of their own flaws.

Anyway, I don't really have very much else to say about this, other than the blatently obvious "I love you, James, completely, utterly, with all my soul, and I wouldn't want you any other way. I know we have our difficulties from time to time, but I do love you, and I never mean to hurt you. I'm sorry."

It's late and I'm depressed, so I think I'll leave this off now. Goodnight world. Goodnight James.

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   Stressed!!!!
Hey all.
I just sent off a bunch of emails about applying for doing an Honours degree next year, and I'm so stressed about it all. I don't know what I'll do if these people reject me. I really don't. And I do wish that I hadn't left things to the last minute (as always), but although the thought of doing honours scares me, the thought of finishing up here and getting a job scares me more.
I wish James was here to cheer me up. Or anyone, for that matter. I need peoples to cheer me up and convince me that I am smart enough and good enough for this task I'm setting myself.
Actually, if you want to look at the projects I'm considering, they can be found here. They all look really interesting to me, and I would like to think that I'd be able to do them.

In other news, I posted a whole bunch of fiction to the site over the past two nights. And by "a whole bunch", I mean two chapters to existing stories. Well, yesterday in maths I wrote the opening scene to a new "story", but you'll all just have to wait and see about that. I was thinking about writing another story for Facets tonight, since I already have the dialogue scripted for that.

Umm... yeah.
I'm stressed and babbling.

Hmm... what else to put up? I know! Here's something rather special, or at least I thought so anyway.

I think I'll curl up and read a book now, the stress of everything is getting to me.

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           Hey! Woohoo!!!!...                
Hehe! We finally reached 100 hits here! Yay me!!!!
Even despite my ranting and raving...
*sighs*
I really shouldn't have posted that rant. It'll get me into trouble and drive off visitors to my site, but I promised myself I was going to be honest about stuff when I wrote in this diary, and I wanna stick by that. Even if it means ranting occasionally and getting myself in trouble.
Hopefully I'll be forgiven cause I'm cute.
Anyway, until next time, dear visitor,
*hugs*!

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  Pornography and the Internet...
Before I begin, this is a rant, and primarily, it's a rant about how people suck. I also seem to have a story bugging me to be written about similar stuff, drawing analogies from a bunch of bad experiences in my life. I think it's going to be entitled "october: the crappiest month of the year", but I could be wrong.
Anyway, this is my rant, starting now.

I really truly don't get what people (look, not sexist) see in pornography. I just don't get it.
My brother has a fairly impressive collection, and I looked through it once, to see what the fuss was all about, and I didn't get it.
But hey, that's okay. Plenty of people like it, and I'm sure better distribution of porn is one of the driving factors behind faster internet connections. I fear it may have a link to why we have a cable modem in this house, but I don't really want to think about it.

Anyway, I’m open minded enough to admit that maybe, just maybe, porn has a place in society, if only to keep the menfolk (and some of the womenfolk) out of trouble. I’m sure it makes them feel a lot better about a lot of stuff.
So even though I don’t like the stuff, I’m willing to admit that maybe, just maybe, other people can and do enjoy porn and whatever feelings it allows them to indulge in, primarily lust.

But, and there’s always a but, I don’t want to know about your filthy habits. If you leave your porn on the floor, I will most likely take it outside and set fire to it, if you leave it on the shared computer I will infect it with a virus. Because frankly, my dear, I don’t want to know what you’ve been doing in your spare time.
I’ve had a bit of experience with this. I never sit on the chair in my father’s ‘study’, because frankly I don’t know what goes on in there at night when he locks the door and sits on the computer until 3am. Actually, I have a fair idea, because when I typed “www.s” as a prelude to “www.sailorcoruscant.com” here a few minutes ago, I found that “www.sweetsweetloving.ne” and “www.sexformeinmyhead.com” appear in the list of suggested conclusions to my surfing experience. Not nice!

Okay, so let’s take this a step further and point out a few things.

What happens when said person’s partner finds out about it? What do they think?
Imagine for yourself, but if you can’t, I’ve compiled a list of suggestions:
Firstly, I would suggest that said partner will immediately start wondering about what comparisons have been made between themselves and various porn stars. Namely, they’ll start angsting about things such as the basics, like figure and beauty or lack thereof, followed by angsting about the personality, eg how a porn image is always beautiful and alluring and always wants it. Real people aren’t, and some of us have made conscious choices not to indulge in “it”, but imagine how your partner would feel if they are suddenly confronted by the thought that you want someone more eager to please you any time you want to. Inadequate springs to mind.
Then a whole bunch of other ideas present themselves. How about the classic, “you’re thinking of someone else when you’re with me?” That one’s always good for the breaking of someone’s heart. I mean, if your partner is looking at porn while you’re not around, who’s to say they aren’t imagining themselves with someone out of pornography while they’re with you?

I could say a bunch of other things, but I think you get the idea. You can really mess someone up by making a simple mistake.

So, okay. You’re allowed to look at porn in your own time while I’m not around. I’ll even accept that you do that. But I don’t want to know about it.

Please:
Delete your temporary internet files
Remove the entries from your history
Turn off auto-complete web addresses.

Because although you can do what you like on your own damn computer, the rest of us don’t want to think about it.

This rant has been brought to you by Catherine in the middle of the night on a shared computer.

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  Catherine's Chocolate Mousse of Love and Beauty...

Ingredients

125g cream cheese
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
250g Cadbury Dark or Milk Cooking Chocolate (Dairy Milk also works)
600ml thickened cream, lightly whipped.

Method

1. Beat the cream cheese, sugar and egg together until smooth.
2. Break the chocolate into small pieces and melt over a double boiler or in the microwave (be really really careful not to overheat, cause cooked chocolate is gross).
3. Add the melted chocolate to the cream cheese mixture and stir through until well combined.
4. Stir in the cream, again stiring until well combined.
5. Chill (preferably but not necessarily in a pre-chilled glass bowl) until required for desert. Also as an option is prearranging it in the bowl you plan on serving it in, that way it will set very nicely.
6. Optional: Decorate with a dollap of whipped cream, chocolate flakes (either curled yourself if you want to put in effort or from a Flake(tm)) or a fine springling of cocoa.
7. Eat too much and feel ill the rest of the evening.

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   I move the stars for no one...
I was sitting here listening to music, and once again I fell in love with that line. It's beautiful, don't you think?

I'm avoiding work. It's kinda obvious and lame, I know, but hiding here with my diary makes me feel a little better about it, as I formulate my thoughts to finally get the last few sentences of my quantum assignment done. I've written a four-line sentence in my tiny handwriting, and somewhere along the line I got a bit lost, so I thought I'd sit and think about it a little before finishing that sentence off.

The question is actually the only reference I have seen in any of my quantum subjects to Schrodinger's cat, so I'm rather impressed. I had a cool quote about that cat somewhere, let me see if I can find it.

Also one should note a bunch of links on the side bar there. Yup, I'm finally getting into the spirit of putting up interesting links for you poor souls with nothing better to do. Hopefully, I'll get the side bar there filled up in no time... *giggles* Or maybe not actually.

Anyway, I found that quote:
"But if you open the box and the cat is dead, you can't determine if it was in both states or not, because you can't make a dead cat tell you anything. There is more than one way to skin it though."

And on that note, I'll go back to my work.

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   Back so soon?
Well yeah. I am back so soon, for it seems that even though I was roped into working tonight, no one wanted to visit the observatory in this crappy weather. Not surprising really, although it didn't storm as we thought it might. But this brings us to an interesting dilemna: since we didn't close the observatory until 7.30pm, and James left home at 7pm, where am I to meet him and when? Well, he said he was going to be in on a 8.24pm bus. I did my checking, and I found that there is a bus that gets in at that time, and where it comes in. Now all I have to do is head over to the bus stop and see if James gets off that particular bus... And if he doesn't show up, I'll make my way over to the observatory again, even though it's a whole kilometer away and I've already done that walk twice tonight.

And if worse comes to worse, he has my mum's mobile phone number and I have my mum's phone.

I think I might attempt one more of the "one hour challenges" before these holidays are over. Wait and see though.

Ooh, I just had my student id checked. How droll. Lucky they didn't check my id against the login of this account, or someone might have been in trouble, and we've had enough of that for one month, thank you very much.

Anyway, I'm off to go sit at the bus stop for a while. Have fun and be careful. Oh! And I hope the new chibi works.

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   Hiho,hiho...
*sighs* I'm about to go off to work at the observatory. Note what a charitable soul I am? I'm not even rostered on tonight, but here I am, since Matt is sick. So, all my plans for doing something with James tonight have come to naught. He has graitiously agreed to come into uni to escort me home, so maybe I will still get the chance to do something nice with him before I fall asleep from exhaustion.

I'm not feeling too well, actually, but I think that may also be expected. There's a thunderstorm in the air and although the sunset was quite pretty, I have a feeling that tonight we will be running the wet-weather program.

I can't remember what else I haven't been talking about in the few months since I posted regularly.

My copy of the Sailor Moon Memorial Music Box arrived a while back, and I've been listening to it almost every chance I get. In truth, I've been so impressed by it that I plan on purchasing the Song Box now that I've been paid and my tax came back (woohoo for Catherine having money).

I've spent a fair amount of time in the past few days learning how to use the Gimp software package to pretty up my sketches, so I may yet have something pretty for the site to display. Or I might not actually, since I'm still not terribly artistic.

Hmm.... My screen just flickered for a second. I wonder if that means that lightning has started outside. If that's the case, I probably shouldn't use my umbrella to walk across campus, ne?

Anyway, this site has been getting an awful lot of hits lately. I fear we may reach 100 before the week is out. In any case, a big hello to all the newbies, and I hope that you all get in touch with me and introduce yourself at some point in the not-too-distant future. *waves* Oh, and you should all keep visiting, since I promise I will start posting regularly again.

*hugs*

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