The Blog

   The Mary Poppins Bag...

When I was in High School, my backpack always seemed to contain more stuff than there was physically room for, with a bit of space left over for something extra someone needed me to carry. So we called it the Mary Poppins bag, and it was silly good fun.

Of course, these days I realise that the problem with bags that are bigger on the inside is that you can never find that Freddo Frog you know is hidden on the bottom somewhere unless you unpack the entire thing.

Labels: death by chocolate, doctor who, mary poppins

   Oh Sweet Jebus...

They're spelled compact disc and encyclopaedia. It's not that hard.

Labels: spelling, the kettle is black

   Why do they leave me alone on the weekends?...

Whenever they do, whenever I have free time, I end up sitting here alone watching terrible movies or television shows, moping about all the things in my life that don't feel right and wishing that I was one of those girls in the movies. It can't be that hard, right? And yet it is.

I want to have friends who want to hang out with me, not just have me over to make up the numbers. I want to have friends who want to hang out at my place from time to time, who like me unconditionally.

I want to be able to have a nice conversation with an old friend, and not have the email followup read "that was the most interesting conversation I had with a girl in a long time". Because I didn't think me being a girl should factor in us being old friends. Needless to say, it's been a month and I haven't found any need to reply.

I want to feel sexy.

I want to feel that I am more than just competent at what I do. I want to be great at something, anything really. I just want do not be so stupidly average at everything.

And I want this wishlist to be shorter.

Labels: cheer up emo Cat, lonely-Cat, unhappiness

   A Toast...


To getting the model for my PhD working, after four years of suffering!



Now I guess I ought to run it lots and get some interesting results, yes?

Labels: feeling better (with application of alcohol), may yet graduate someday, phd

   Dear Family...

The whole "using my bathtowel and toothbrush" thing has gotten really really old.

I will buy new ones tomorrow, and if it happens again, I'm throwing all of your toothbrushes in the bin, regardless of who it was that committed the crime.

Labels: family, going to flip out and chop off someone's head

   I may just be the luckiest girl in the world...

I got to see the Phantom of the Opera again today. That makes three times for this production: last tuesday night, last saturday's matinée, and then today's matinée. I was only expecting to attend two of them, but K's sister was ill this morning and didn't want her ticket to go to waste.

As a result, I've gotten to see all three of the Phantoms we have performing in Sydney (okay, I missed the "understudy" (as opposed to the "alternates"), but given that he was playing Raoul in all three performances, I don't feel like I missed out on watching him perform a sexy part. :) ). There was no competition as to who was the best: every word that Anthony Warlow sung sent shivers down my spine and I wanted him and Christine to end up together all the way until he flipped out in the end, and even then I felt sorry for the poor man. He was amazing, and sexy and he was the Phantom. I'm so glad I got to see him.

Saturday, the Phantom was sung by Simon Pryce, who was okay, but he was a very different Phantom, not as strong, a bit more pathetic. He sang it fine, but he didn't have the depth of character, and you never really cheered for him. He was more of a madman, and I wondered why Christine was ever really entranced by him. That said, he was performing with Sarah Bakker (the understudy for Christine) and she played a more self-aware Christine, a little stronger of voice and personality, and somehow giving her more spirit was a good foil to making the Phantom a whispering madman. Now if only they'd been able to keep his headpiece stuck down at the edges, I might have believed in his deformity.

The third, Roy Weissensteiner, was a very Michael Crawford-like Phantom. I've not seen Crawford perform, but his is the canonical version we've all heard so many times on all our cds and compilations, and Weissensteiner's voice was very similar. Dramatic, spine tinglingly creepy, and I was crying at the end when she abandoned him. Sarah Bakker has amazing charisma and is able to play her role so well that at the end, when she's hesitant to leave him, you really believe that she's torn between the two men, that she doesn't want to leave the Phantom alone there in the dark.

The makeup also looked best on Warlow, probably because he doesn't have any hair they need to hide beneath the prosthetics, so his head isn't too mishapen. :) Oh, and I want to steal the Phantom's Composing Hat (link to a geocities image, may not work, click here to see the original page).

Hmm, I'm not sure what to add now... I think my favourite costume of all is Carlotta's from Masquerade (she was wearing the spider one, with the beadwork and the little wings) and I'd love to have the time and energy to make it for myself. Not sure what that says about me. Anyway, I've been having fun, I'm sorry I've not been blogging much, it's just been a very emotional (and busy few weeks for me).



Oh, and in case anyone is interested, this and this are what's been preventing me from sleeping for the last few weeks (the second are the test pages, don't tell the boss I linked you to them).

Labels: he's here, the Phantom of the Opera, web stuff

   To the Redback I just met in the shower...

Fuck you and your entire species. I hope you go extinct.

Labels: naked-Cat, spider

   Battlestar Rant...

Man, I have so many problems with the BSG "finding the map to earth in the stars" scene it's not funny. I'm willing to let the "seeing every constellation on the elliptic at one time" thing slide, because it would be a crap map without a 360 view around the planet and whatever. Although that does make Starbuck's "we're standing on Earth" line complete bullocks.

I'm almost tempted to let the "referring to the Lagoon Nebula as M8" thing slide. Because hell, it is the correct Messier catalog number for it, and maybe people started out on Earth, before they moved to Kobol, and our extremely esoteric catalogue of "~100 things that are not comets" could have stuck around the scientific literature or something.

But seriously guys. Couldn't you even get the constellation right? M8 is in Sagittarius, and all of the Messier objects in Scorpius are a completely different class of objects. Two minutes on wikipedia could have saved your arses a whole lot of embarrassment.

Labels: BSG, Cylon-Cat, finding the way to Earth

   A pocket full of seashells...

Today was a glorious day.
The sort of day where some part of your brain kicks in and says "you remember how it rained for months and months and they think it will be raining again next week? why are you sitting here making yourself miserable?" and you stop, and you think about it for a moment, and you can't come up with a reason to sit there any longer so you say "fuck it, I'm going to the beach!"

And you do!
I put myself on a series of buses, and took myself to the beach I was most familiar with the public transport options to -- Manly! Which is such a nice place, and right from the moment I stepped off the bus I could smell the salt water. Oddly enough, it made my stomach grumble (it had been a long time on the buses) so I wandered through some shops and eventually found myself some nice seaside lunch!
And the usual crowd showed up to try and share:
But it was okay because I was too greedy and wouldn't share (and there were enough people feeding them chips that I didn't actually feel bad about not sharing my very yummy sushi (which was quite cheap too - $5.70 for all that)). And who could pay the seagulls any attention with a view like this:
After I'd slowed down the rumbling of my tummy, it was time to actually enjoy the beach that I'd traveled so far to see. I took my shoes off and headed off down the sand.
and found myself a nice sandy (and shady, since I'd forgotten my hat) spot to sit down on, where I could just listen to the waves coming in.
I tried to take a self portrait to prove I was there, but I was replaced by aliens at the last moment.

I sat there for a long time, running my toes through the sand, writing and doodling and just trying to remember the last time I did something creative and how it used to feel when I was more than just someone who spent all day working on a boring PhD. It was really nice, and I wasn't just feeling sorry for myself, there was some real soul searching going on there. No conclusions, but at least I'm looking now.
As the shadows got longer all of the chronic sunbathers went home (or maybe to their nearest solarium, I have no idea. These people had leather instead of skin), leaving the beach even more peaceful than before.

I was feeling better about the whole no-longer-a-creative-person thing, so I packed up my notes, tried to get most of the sand off me, rolled up my pants and headed for the water at last.

The water was so nice and warm! If I'd had a swimsuit (or maybe even just less impractical underwear) I would have gone for a proper swim, because the temperature was just perfect! (The lack of waves higher than my knees was but a small disappointment.) I love the Pacific Ocean, particularly the East Australian Current which keeps our beaches nice and warm even in the colder months. It brings warm feelings to my heart and makes me want to go back tomorrow.

But it was not to last, as I had promised my mother I'd be home in time for dinner (first time all week, I think I'll have to work on that). So I took one more photo of me (in the hopes of not looking like a goth this time) and started heading back.
I may have stopped by the New Zealand Natural shop on the way back for the customary "I went to Manly and all I got was this lousy Ice Cream"...

...but there's absolutely no evidence to say that I did. :)

As the sun was starting to set I made my way to the wharf and put myself on a ferry back to the city. Because nothing says "Sydney Harbour is a deathtrap!" like riding on the Sydney ferries.
I got to watch the sun go down...
All in all, a most satisfying day away from the university. I almost feel up to going in and actually working on my PhD on monday. Pity my iMac's being delivered. *grins*

There are a few more photos up on my flickr set, since I figured I'd spammed you all enough for one post. I'm sure I'll be back to my regular moping in no time.

Labels: autumn, beach, manly, seagulls, swimsuit edition

   Screw my unhappy brain...

My shiny new iMac should be arriving on monday. I think I'll take a day off to celebrate.

Gah, I'll need to think of a name for it...

Labels: iCatherine, retail therapy